The Five Stages of Getting Fat

I got permission from my new blogging friend Jen to copy an old post of hers. It TOTALLY embraces what I have been feeling. Lately I have been really internally (and outwardly) struggling with my appearance. I am turning into someone I don't want to be, so I am going to DO something about it! It doesn't help that the stupid fertility drugs made me gain most of this weight! (I wouldn't be so mad if they had actually WORKED!)


You may be familiar with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s Stages of Grief. Well, the other day as I was trying on some jeans that I hadn’t worn in awhile, it occured to me that there is a similiar process that one goes through when they realize they’ve gained a few extra pounds.

Here is how I went through all 5 stages in about fifteen minutes:

1. Denial –I think we may need a new dryer because it keeps shrinking all my jeans.
2. Anger – These [insert curse word] jeans are really tight! Why would anyone make jeans this tight? I’m going to kill the person who thought up skinny jeans. I. Can’t. Even. Breathe. Looks like I’ll have to wear them unbuttoned. Do you think anyone will notice? Of course they will because this looks [insert curse word] horrendous!!!
(Head to the kitchen to grab a cookie because I am MAD!)
3. Bargaining –After this one last cookie, I promise that I’m going to switch to that 5 Factor Diet I keep hearing Oprah talking about. Oh wait, I think she went off that. How in the world is a normal person like me supposed to follow a strict diet (crunching cookies) if Oprah can’t even do it. I’ll just try to exercise more. And eat less cookies.
4. Depression – Ugh. Why did I just eat almost half a bag of cookies? I hate myself. Screw it, these cookies are good. They’d probably even taste better with a little ice cream. You know what? I didn’t even look good in those jeans to begin with.
5. Acceptance –Where are my yoga pants?

So, I got out my pilates dvd tonight and did some core/ab excersises because that is my problem area. I still have those dancers legs, but I got my mom's apple shape. You can kiss THIS apple goodbye!! Now that the whole blogosphere knows my plans, I better keep them! Any modivational comments would be greatly appreciated!