This weeks addition of WWFM is backwards for me. I am the one needing your advise.
I have a night owl for a son. When all the other kids are going to bed at 8 pm my son is in full swing. Not that I mind, because I really don't. Usually we're at the store, or still at friends/familys house and so it's not very convenient to stop and leave to make sure the boy gets to bed. My problem has been that in the last month or two he has been coming out of our room (he watches TV to unwind... I know, bad habit) and says that he is hungry. Not just hungry, Starvingggggggg! Although he had a full dinner and snacks throughout the night. What do I do? Sometimes he didn't eat that much and so I think maybe he's telling the truth. Other times I say no, just go to bed but then he throws a fit and starts crying "But my stomach is so empty!" Am I going to starve my child and have to call DCFS on myself, or just be tough and make him get to bed? Please help!! I need professional advice.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
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The real key is to establish a schedule, if you don't already have one.
ReplyDeleteFor example:
Dinner should be around the same time every night, let him have a bath, then a small snack if he is used to that. Brush teeth, read, start to wind down. No TV. Just an example.
Start a routine that you follow every day- even on weekends. The routine will give him cues of what happens next. At some point, you may have to let him cry it out once you've started the routine. He will be fine. :>)
Dinner and bedtime schedules are only inconvenient in the beginning. Then, they make life so much easier.
Good luck!
Offer him a piece of plain bread with nothing on it. If he's really hungry, he'll eat it and it won't make a mess to clean up! You are not alone, Friend!
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who lets her 3 year old get out of bed in the middle of the night, brings her down to the kitchen, and feeds her snacks. Just can't stand to let her be hungry. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, bedtime is the begining of a fast...it's broken only at breakfast. Eating each night right before bed might start a pretty unhealthy habit.
I agree with Melanie that consistency is key. As long as you are feeding him healthy, nourishing snacks and meals, he'll be fine. Maybe just a quick sip of water or milk will help him feel like his tummy is satisfied?
My 2 1/2 year old is really fighting bed time lately. Ending daytime naps helped TONS. And having a very consistent bedtime and bedtime routine also worked wonders.
But still, she thinks up something new every week! Lately she gets out of bed, and starts complaining that we didn't clean her ears before bed! No kidding!
We just repeatedly put her back to bed, tell her no more getting up, and eventually she falls asleep. If she's anything like her big brother and sister (who did this same stuff), she'll eventually learn that bedtime is just time to sleep and the arguments and complaints will simply end.
All that being said??? You're the mommy! Trust your gut. If you truly feel like your little guy is hungry, you will not "ruin" him if you feed him. Maybe he's just going through a growing spurt.
Best of luck to you :)
I would give him something to eat. something easy like fruit.
ReplyDeleteMy son does this once in a while, too. If he ate a decent dinner, I will give him milk. It has protein in it and should help his hunger (if it really exists). If I know he didn't eat much at dinner, I will allow him a small bowl of cereal. No exceptions so he knows what he will get if he asks for food at bedtime.
ReplyDeleteI will agree with others that establishing a consistent routine is key. We have one and his body doesn't get confused. It also helps hubby and I keep our sanity!!
Many people, including yours truly, feel hungry when they're actually realy tired. That's why I gained nine pounds when my son stopped taking naps! ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't think it would hurt to give him a small, healthy snack like string cheese or half a banana. My kids eat bedtime snacks fairly often, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that, as long as it's something small and healthy.
I have to agree that a consistent routine is the very best thing you can do to make bedtime go smoothly. I know it's a downer sometimes, but it really does make a HUGE difference. I speak from experience. :)
Thanks for all of your input and help! I'll have to not beat myself up so much!
ReplyDeleteIs he getting enough breakfast and lunch? I know that I am starving at night, trying to make up for calories, if I don't eat enough throughout the day. Maybe try to get him to eat bigger breakfasts and lunch with more protein.
ReplyDeleteCarrie
It seems as though you don't mind him eating at night. Give him an apple, which will help clean his teeth, has vitamins, and fiber to fill up a tummy.
ReplyDeleteA glass of milk is good too, but if there's a bedwetting problem...not so good.
Are you sure that he's not just cued to eat while watching TV (habit) though?
I do give him a choice of plain bread, a cheese stick, or milk. I don't know if he just gets bored while he's watching tv, or if he is geniouly hungry. I DO know that he has a good dinner (generally) and so he SHOULDN'T be hungry. Last night I primed him way before bedtime that he wouldn't be having any snacks after he gets in bed. That seemed to work. I might have to do that every night. I do agree that he needs a schedule, and we have one. It just is a later one than most. Thank you for all these ideas!
ReplyDeleteRoutine, routine, routine!!! I didn't have one with my first, so I learned the hard way. And now my kids know that if you don't eat dinner, you don't get anything till morning. Allowing them to eat after they have gone to bed just reinforces the habit of getting up. Just like feeding in the middle of the night. At some point, you have to stop because... they don't need it. He will NOT starve. No matter how much he cries or whines. You are setting a precedent for future fit flingings if you don't stop them now... believe me. I have lived it. :)
ReplyDeleteSome advice my Dr. gave me when Isaac was doing the same thing...save what they didn't eat for dinner and offer that to them when they say they are hungry...if they ate all their food then they could be growing or just stalling you can test it....just remember that sadly millions of children go with out food. I don't think he will die if you skip a night of bed time snacks.
ReplyDeleteI used to get really hungry before bed and I'd eat a ton. I'd heard myths that it is unhealthy to do so because your body won't be able to digest the food as well at night when you are sleeping. (I found this is actually not true if you eat throughout the day and have a good metabolism). What solved my problem was an article I read where they did a study about people with the same problem. What the researchers found was that most of the time when people felt hungry before bed they were actually just thirsty and their bodies couldn't tell the difference. Ever since then whenever I'm hungry I drink a nice cold glass of water and then I'm good to go. (Not literally... I don't have a bed-wetting problem.) He may think he's hungry because it feels that way when he's really just thirsty and maybe a little dehydrated from the day.
ReplyDeleteWell, you got a lot of answers on this one already but I thought I would chime in.
ReplyDeleteMy kids have a later bedtime than most too. (I don't do mornings) That can lead to some munchies before bed. We still eat dinner at a "normal" time. So on nights that my kids are asking for a snack before bed (or while in bed!) I will get them something small. A pretzel rod. A couple goldfish (no more than what they can hold in their hand) They get to eat their snack while we read their bedtime story. When the story is done the snack is done and it's time for bed.
They don't ask for a snack every night. And not every night they ask do they get one. Sometimes they have ice cream (or something) right after dinner and then want something when they go to bed too. I usually have to draw the line there.
Good luck. I hope you get your bedtime battles worked out. If this is your worst bedtime battle, your doing good! :)
I know you know this, but since you said it yourself, I am agreeing with you that the TV at bedtime has got to go. I would have a TV cut off time. If I let mine watch TV they would try to stay up all night. (I'm the same way!). It seems that especially for your son, TV is over-stimulating. If you don't want to insist he sleeps, you could put him in his bed with a stack of books, and he will be more likely to truly unwind. Just don't give him over-stimulating books. Ha ha! :) Even if he cannot read yet, there are picture books he can look at. Our children have one called Polo that is a wordless comic-style story book that is adorable. You can find it on amazon.com My non-readers look at picture books at naptime this way. The bedtime routine seems to also be especially essential for your son as it is for mine. If you have to be at the store late or he has a late bedtime, ok, but just keep the routine the same every night. Give him a light bedtime snack and small drink if he needs it, have him brush teeth, read him a book, pray, give a kiss, and tuck him in with a small lamp by his bedside and a basket of picture books. If you have to, let him listen to a soothing CD, but music can be overstimulating for some like TV can be. Let him know that when you leave, he is to stay in bed. Make it a happy but calm end to the evening. You'll eventually find him asleep in bed with a book or find him going right to sleep. Even when one of mine went through a stressed out phase, consistency eventually worked. You can also make a picture chart for him until he gets used to the routine and can expect what comes next. I agree with the person who said to keep the snack dull. Leftovers or dry toast so that he will only snack if he is truly hungry. If I stay up late, I get hungry again too. So get that child in bed so he can grown and his mind can grow, and you can enjoy some rest too!
ReplyDelete