Noise-Free New Years

I sent my boys on the Nigbur Family Vacation without me. They left New Year's Eve, and didn't come home until Saturday night. Without crying too much on your shoulder I'll just say that pregnant depression= unhappy/tear-filled/want-to-crawl-in-a-hole-and-die attitude. That is another reason I haven't really written much. I just don't see the light. I don't want to be a wife. I don't want to be a mom. I don't feel like a real person. The quiet house was nice. I got to stew about things and really think of how to make things better. Sometimes I'm happy, so I feel like I'm having Bi-Polar disorder (which I don't, I just feel like I do. Not that there is anything wrong with having it- I just thought I'd clarify). I could laugh one minute then the next be totally curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor. I'm only bringing this up because it's real and a lot of women don't want to talk about it. I am dealing with it. It is real. I'm calling my therapist tomorrow.

While I was alone over New Years I went to a movie as a third wheel with my parents. It was Valkyrie. I loved it. I thought it was a terrific movie. I hated that it didn't work, although you actually know it wasn't, unless you're my sister who admits not learning that- or much else- in history. I won't tell you which sister. HA! Love you!! It left you with a horrible feeling though, because he was almost the hero. So I should have gone to a different show, like Yes Man. A thoughtless, dumb and hope that you laugh show. I then went home and watched Dick Clark's (hopefully last) show. Friday I arranged to go out to lunch with my girlfriends and dish about our hubby's lovingly talk about our families. We had a good time. I'm glad that they were able to do it on such short notice. We were missing one though. It's fun to be pregnant all together. Debbie, Marti and I are due within weeks of each other and Angie is due one month later. Stacy just had one, so she is exempt from our club. Gina- well, we'll exempt her too. Who knew that with such random fertility's that we would all wind up with kids together again?? Gina, Deb, Stacy and I all had one around Brendan's age too.

I did make me a batch of Coconut-Almond Popcorn that I ate the whole weekend while I was alone. I am hoping that this month's scale still tells me I only gained another 1 pound. I don't know how it happened last month, but I am rolling the dice again.